5 Extreme Office Sports

We sit around at the office, sneakily reading updates on our favourite sport teams and picking our weekend fantasy league selections. Yet, this doesn’t exactly feed the primitive beast in all of us; that one that yearns for real competition.

Here, we reveal five office sports you need to take part in, to keep the eye of the tiger burning bright and your reactions keen like a viper ready to strike.

Trash Can Toss
Designed by Jack Nicklaus’ architect. Since the Golden Bear’s recent boom in golf course design, his architect has spent countless hours drawing and planning, as a result his short game has taken a beating. He developed this game to keep his hand-eye-coordination in check.

The rules
Keep all your scraps of paper, bundle them up into little balls and wait…
Once the boss’s attention is off you throw the balls into the dustbin. Mix it up by aiming at different ones, or move the one you have further away to increase difficulty. Get your mates in on the action to create a challenging Trash Can Matchplay event. Remember, it’s etiquette for the winner to buy the first round with his winnings.

Office Chair Derby
This is one for the racing enthusiasts that have to bear the excruciating pain of sitting still at their desks the whole day. This ingenious sporting event was perfected by the announcer at the Kyalami Race Track, who since the cancellation of the Grand Prix in 1985, had to find another way to satisfy his adrenalin addiction.

The rules
This is a time trial event where the winner completes the track (the office space) in the shortest amount of time. You will need a stop watch and your office chair (preferably one with wheels). Set up your track by clearing any obstacles out of the way and decide which would be the more challenging path. Get your fellow Office Chair Derby enthusiasts together and remember to kick hard down the straights and brake early to maximize the handling ability around the corners. Many offices are different which adds to the rush of entering a new and unknown territory. We do condone rivalries, but not foul play… So keep it clean.

Office Superbowl
This is by far most interactive and lucrative of sporting events in the office sport calendar. Companies invest millions to get an advertising spot during the half time interval. Designed by psychologists of ex-football players, this helps them with the difficult transition from playing a contact sport to having no contact at all.

The rules
Very similar to American football, there is one quarterback and as many wide receivers as you need per team. Every player has to stay seated at all times, to avoid detection. The goal of the game is to get in to the opposing team’s side of the office: the end-zone. This is done by the quarterback throwing random office supplies, after the hike, to the wide receivers. The wide receiver has to stay seated in his chair while trying to elude the opposing team’s defenders in order to catch whatever is thrown. The winner gets to rub it in the loser’s faces with wild and unnecessary celebrations.

Under the desk toe wrestling
Just to be clear this is not footsie footsie. It’s a test of one person’s big toe strength against another. Wrestling was created by the ancient Greeks, who tested their strength against one another in a primitive form of what we now know as the Olympic Games.

The rules
Two competitors lock their big toes in, raise the other leg and put their hand on their heads. The competition begins when both are ready and ends when one mercilessly bends the foot of his competitor horizontally. If the toe-hold breaks then a restart is required.

Water Cooler Stare-down
Not too long ago one of our fellow office sport enthusiasts went to climb the Himalayan Mountains, but tragically got lost in a snow storm. Luckily he was picked up by Buddhist Monks and taken to their monastery to receive medical help. There he stayed for weeks learning to perfect the art of complete silence and to stare without ever having the need to blink. He returned to our offices as the founding father of the Water Cooler Stare Down. Until this very day, has never been defeated and has never blinked or uttered a sound near a water cooler.

The rules
As we all know the water cooler has become a hot spot for office chatter and replenishing much needed fluids during office hours, but not anymore. Only the bravest of souls dare to venture near the water cooler, where blinking and talking is not allowed. No one may have any water until the contest has a winner. The winner may drink first as proof of his relentless will and mental capacity.

Here at MANBOX we approve the use of these events in any office space at any time during the working week. However if you get caught or are fired we cannot accept any responsibility for injuries or loss of working capacity.