Oct
Articles, Building better men
4 Things That Men Don’t Like To Admit
Men are quick to confess how rich, strong, and capable they are. In fact, most men would sooner rather choose death than being perceived as weak.
Calling it a “man thing” is just a lazy way of describing this toxic condition. For young boys, it’s almost impossible to escape the unreasonable expectations that come with being a ‘male’.
Look at the meant-to-be-motivational kind of talks such as “man up”, “take it like a man” or “boys don’t cry” and many more that society perceives as OK.
Men, don’t we wish these phrases didn’t carry so much weight?
Agree or disagree, but there are a couple of things that men wouldn’t admit to anyone including their partners or mates. That’s just how men have been wired.
Below we’ve come up with a list of 4 things, we think, that men don’t like to admit even on a sunny day. It might seem like a list of stereotypes, but these are universal issues men deal with, in our opinion:
1. “I’m broke”
This is a touchy subject for most guys. Probably the only time you’d hear this confession would come in a form of a joke. For a dude to utter the words “I’m broke” out loud is like compromising his manhood. Unfortunately, society is also not kind to a man who doesn’t have gaup. In fact, most men feel invisible or powerless without money in the bank.
2. “I need help”
Whoever told men that asking for help is unappealing should pay more tax. Really, what’s the logic there? The reason men don’t ask for help is because of the judgment they believe they will experience if they do. Society expects men to be all-powerful and know-it-all. Ask any dude how is he doing the response would be “all good” – can it really be all good? Unfortunately, most guys prefer putting a brave face and die inside.
3. “It didn’t work out, but I still love her”
After a breakup, some men act as nothing happened. They pretend to a point where it’s even awkward to ask if they’re OK. It’s as if after the pictures have been removed (or archived) on social media the feelings will magically disappear. The chances of you hearing this line “it didn’t work out, but I still love her” are super slim – unless the dude had too much drink. For a guy to discuss his feelings is like disrespecting the ‘imaginary’ guy code.
4. “I’m sorry”
For some men, apologising is like denying their manhood. In some cultures, apologising as a man is considered as an insult. Some guys would prefer to do almost anything to avoid saying “I’m sorry”. In his mind, apologising and admitting he is wrong is the worst form of ‘punishment’. On the other hand, for most men to hear the words “I’m sorry” being said to them is like being given permission to be aggressive.
There are zillion issues that are caused by men’s upbringing and other factors. The good news is men are slowly unlearning these toxic ways of thinking and doing.
Bro, turning a blind eye to such things is not part of the solution.
Most men are ditching the imaginary guy code and making it normal to feel and talk without violence. We all want a society that encourages men and women to show up and be their true selves.
Comment below with your thoughts
I fully agree to the statement. As I’ve realised from both my father and I, we find it very hard to apologize and we’d rather brush the whole topic of and to me that is toxic masculinity.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. We need to unlearn these kinds of traits because at times they make us bitter and angry at the world. We die inside before our actual death.. They can be psychologically draining and damaging. We need to emancipate from this mental slavery and see things in a different light.
This is so true. As men I wish that bwe could have these conversations often but that’s very difficult unfortunately. To be honest I’ve never been able to tell a male friend when I’m having issues. I’m blessed to have a partner that I can share everything with. It wasn’t easy at first but it has mad a huge difference.
This is so true. I wish as men we would be able to have such conversations often but that is very difficult unfortunately. I honestly have never been able to tell a male friend when I had issues. I’m lucky to have a partner that I can share anything with. It wasn’t easy at first but it has made a big difference.
As men we need to show our emotions and it’s okay to cry. It is okay to also break down. I mean we are human and can only do much. The problem begins with phrases like “indoda ayikhali” (a man does not cry), that becomes a problem because we end up bottling up things that will later affect us and those around us.
It’s so true yet men always seem to shy away from.this feeling it’s a taboo subject,I feel they should be heard and be able to express themselves freely,as trust and communication goes hand in hand
Growing up we were told men don’t cry..there is a saying in my language “monna ke nku o lle la Teng” which turned most boys to men that they are today. In this new generation I normally see a change which is good where men get to talk about what hurts them and how they feeling.
Men are oppressing themselves with their patriarchy , when you need help ! Ask . You make a mistake , apologize ! It’s really simple and you lose nothing but gain a lot.