‘Men Don’t Cry”. Why?

The society isn’t expecting men to express their emotions or even worse cry. Men are expected to soldier on and take whatever challenges like a “man”. What does that really mean? It could mean that “throwing toys” (as a fair explanation) or solving problems by violence and aggression is the only form of communication expected from men. Perhaps it could refer to wearing a facade and pretend that ‘akunamatata’ while dying inside.

Boys learn from an early age that shedding even one tear in public will make them look weak. Crying is like an unofficial felon that can only be done in close doors. One of the common ideas of masculinity is that real  man doesn’t cry. He is expected to control his tears and always show a brave face. “If you want to be taken seriously or be feared by your peers – stop being so emotional!”. Isn’t that what we were told from an early age after reporting bullies from school? No wonder, boys prefer to take matters into their hands or even worse become bullies themselves.

Isn’t it not strange that we barely see any action movie where Chuck Norris shedding a tear or admitting that he can’t solve an issue? NO! We expect him to kick butt and rescue the helpless and emotional woman. Imagine if it was easy to have a mate that you can confide and cry with (not only turning-up together), without the fear of being judged.

Some men would ask: What’s the point of crying while you can force your way in, push harder, don’t take no for an answer, fight ’till the end?

Better Men believe: violence doesn’t solve anything, vulnerability isn’t weakness, crying is a natural way of ‘letting go’ and gaining strength.

What kind of man do you want to be? Are you going to be trapped by toxic ideas of masculinity? That one tear could liberate the next dude seek for help or gain courage to express himself.

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Salute

Anele@manbox