Why Men Don’t Ask For Help?

Men have one thing in common. They don’t like asking for help. Being a man comes with following certain rules. It’s about conforming and living up to the identity your society expects of you. These preconceived ideas were written before you were born and determines how you should behave. For an example, in some cultures a boy is expected to undergo “initiation school” to be promoted as a man”. Imagine being perceived as a boy at age 70 because you failed to conform.

If men sense judgement when asking for help (if only a tiny amount) then they won’t do it. Men are indirectly or sometimes directly taught not to ask for help. Asking for help is not acceptable. One is expected to be strong and independent man who is the lone wolf. No wonder nearly 80% of suicides in South Africa are men and often caused by men battling their problem alone.

 Men base their sense of identity on the societal definitions they grew up with. Boys learn that stepping outside of that definition comes at a great cost and that conditioning stays with them into adulthood. As a result, men learn to fear any questioning of their manliness or social standing. The insane logic for not asking for help is, you’ll look weak and less of a man to the person you’re asking the help to.

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Anele@Manbox